stannis
Game of Thrones Episode Companion – Season 5 Episode 1
This article is to be read after the episode has been seen, as and as a result may contain spoilers up to the episode that it’s covering, but no further. So if you haven’t seen the episode yet, go and watch it. Then come back and read this. Then watch the episode again. Then read this again.
It’s that time of year again! I thank you for taking the time to visit. Like last year, I will be writing spoiler free (beyond this episode) episode companions for Game of Thrones season 5. These companions will serve to clarify certain points in what can often be quite a convoluted plot. Now, George R. R. Martin has actually gone out and said something along the lines of “book readers are going to hate this season because it’s so different”. Personally, I’m excited to see where the show deviates from the book – it will be exciting to see new and interesting things and spoilers that I’m unaware of…so, I will try try try not to fill these reviews with WELL IN THE BOOKS THIS HAPPENED!!!. Try. I won’t be able to help myself a bit.
One of the first things you may notice in The Wars to Come was a little addition to Winterfell in the opening credits: it now displays the flayed man sigil of the Boltons. Lovely detail. The episode kicks off with a flashback from Cersei’s childhood, in which she meets a witch called Maggy the Frog (not Osha!). This is the first actual flashback we have seen in the show so far. Interestingly, the books are full of ‘em (see, I can’t help myself), and show headers Benioff and Weiss went on record to say that they wanted no flashbacks, dreams or prophecies. Yeah….that’s…that’s never going to work. For those who didn’t pick it up, Cersei was supposed to marry “a prince” (Rhaegar Targaryen). Maggy says in her prophecy that Cersei won’t marry a prince; she will marry a king. Which she did, in Robert. That is, until a younger, more beautiful comes to take her place (Margaery Tyrell). Robert will have twenty children (all of his bastards), but Cersei will only have three (Joffrey, Tommen, Myrcella). If you think back to season 1, Cersei mentioned to Catelyn that she and Robert had a son that died in infancy – whether this is a show continuity error, or whether Cersei was simply lying to Cat, we shall never know. One thing they omitted in this scene from the books was a third piece to Maggy’s prophecy, which I shan’t ruin in case it pops up….but it seems pretty important in the books so here’s hoping. #Valonqar. In real time, Cersei appears to be becoming more and more paranoid – emphasised in a strong scene between her and Jaime, degraded only by Twyin’s omniscient googly-eyes.

Sticking in King’s Landing, we once again are reunited with Lancel Lannister. Lancel was Robert’s cupbearer in season 1, and played a part in his death. In season 2, he bedded his cousin Cersei before suffering a wound on the Blackwater. He has now cut off his luscious blonde locks and found religion. We also see the return of Kevan Lannister, Lancel’s father and Tywin’s younger brother. Kevan, like Lancel, appeared in seasons 1 and 2 but was omitted in 3 and 4. Thankfully, he’s back, with the same actor playing him. With the Lannister name now in peril, how will this new family dynamic affect their future? There was also mention of the Sparrows, who are a group of pious folk, who we will see more of in future episodes. My qualm with this episode follows Loras’ scene. Loras Tyrell’s sole purpose in the show seems to be that he is gay. It defines his character. In the books (sorry), he is one of the best knights in the Seven Kingdoms. After Renly, his love, his killed, he becomes angry and seeks to avenge him by joining the Kingsguard. He is arrogant, rash, and a total bad-ass, looked up to by Tommen – somewhat mirroring a young Jaime. He’s still a homosexual, but it is nowhere near as prominent as it is in the show…and there is no OlyvAR either. But it has enabled me to use the word ‘qualm’, so I guess I’m thankful for that.
Across the Narrow Sea, we know have two main characters! I’m glad to see that Varys is travelling with Tyrion – hopefully we get to see some super dynamic adventures between the two of them. They arrive in Pentos. Cast your minds back to the very first episode. Pentos was the place where Viserys and Daenerys lived, before they went off with Drogo. The “colleague” that Varys mentions, Illyrio Mopatis, was the large man from season one: a magister in Pentos. It is revealed here that Varys intends to put Dany on the throne. Will be see some Dany and Tyrion action? Goodness I hope so.
Speaking of the Mother of Dragons and so on, what a heartbreaking scene that was, with the Unsullied that just wanted to be cuddled. They are eunuchs – castrated at a young age – so they feel little to no sexual desires towards the women….they just want someone to hold. Which raises questions about Grey Worm and Missandei’s relationship; again, another show-only inclusion as she is about 10 in the books. It’s a nice relationship, don’t get me wrong, but I think it will backfire if they add a sexual aspect to it. The man that killed the Unsullied was a member of The Sons of the Harpy – the Harpy being the animorph for the slave Masters or Meereen, a statue of which we saw being destroyed at the beginning (along with half of the CGI budget – though did anyone else notice the rope graciously caressing the harpy’s bottom? No? Just me. Moving on). The Sons of the Harpy are, as you would imagine, quite angry at Dany for abolishing slavery. Ruling isn’t easy, but at least she has sexy Daario to suggestively stroke his dagger hilt at her. Emilia Clarke’s acting seems to have improved slightly too, which is a plus. Oh, and the others two dragons’ names were finally mentioned in-show: Viserion and Rhaegal, named for Daenerys’ brother and son respectively.

There were some scenes around the Vale of Arryn with Sansa, Littlefinger and Brienne and Pod…but that’s all quite self-explanatory. Young Robin Mumbreast has been left in the care of the Royces, a family sworn to the Arryns, in order to make him more lordly. And to remove him from Littlefingers plans. Which leaves us with the events at the Wall. With proposals for a new Lord Commander imminent, and the captured Wildlings getting restless, tensions are high…not entirely helped by the arrival of the one true king, Stannis the Mannis. As a side note, Janos Slynt, the guy that follows Alliser Thorne around everywhere, ex-captain of the City Watch in King’s Landing, seems to have been given the stereotypical coward treatment. In da books, he was a buffoon, but not a coward (and often referred to himself in the third person, yes he did). Someone on reddit compared this to The Hobbit’s dreadful display of “the funny coward”…I can’t even remember that character’s name as I have blocked it from memory. Anyway, The Wars to Come ends with the execution of Mance Raydar, the King Beyond the Wall. A scene that gave me chills, I have to say. Up until the recent emergence of the White Walks, Mance was the biggest threat to the Seven Kingdoms. He was able to unite the Wildlings under one king; a feat that has not been achieved in…well, ever. Though different from the books, I loved Ciaran Hinds portrayal, and am sad to see him go. This scene, however, was significantly altered from the books, and it seems like they have omitted an entire future storyline because of it. A very cool story line. They have also butchered Stannis; he seems to just care about conquering the North, whereas book Stannis was a lot more conscious about the threat of White Walkers. I’ve said before, but it’s important to be aware that the books and series are very different – it’s an adaptation – but that doesn’t stop me from wallowing in pity and crying “BENIOFF AND WEISS WHYYYYYYYYY”. Either way, Jon Snow’s actions of mercy killing him old friend will have consequences I’m sure. Also I’m putting money on him and Melisandre getting it on. He does have a thing for red heads…

Next week (or a few days ago, if you were naughty and watched the leaked episodes online), we get to take our first trip to Dorne, home to my personal favourite house, the Martells. See you then and stuff!

Game of Thrones Episode Companion: Season 4 Episode 10
This article is to be read after the episode has been seen, as and as a result may contain spoilers up to the episode that it’s covering, but no further. So if you haven’t seen the episode yet, go and watch it. Then come back and read this. Then watch the episode again. Then read this again.
Happy Father’s Day, Tywin.
I bet I’m the first person on the internet to make that joke.
So, Game of Thrones is over for another year. What did we all think of the finale? Whilst I don’t think that it was Weiss and Benioff’s ‘masterpiece’, as they claimed it was, I did thoroughly enjoy the episode. Book fans have been simultaneously reeling from the lack of a certain scene, but actually I am kind of glad that it was omitted. Without spoiling anything, the scene that was expected is the epilogue of A Storm of Swords, which is book three in the A Song of Ice and Fire series. It’s a major reveal – I will say no more than that – and would have made a great epilogue to the series. However, had they included it, there episode would have been too packed, I think. There was a lot going on, and a lot of twists and turns in various story arcs. Had this scene been included, I think that it would have taken away from the rest of the episode. Now, I just hope they include it early in season 5, as the longer they wait, the less impact it will have. But I’m not as angry about it being left out as I thought I was, and actually having the episode end with Arya sailing away was quite a nice way to finish the series.
A lot of events unfolded throughout the 65 minute episode, so I will try and cover as much as I can, ending with a note on where the characters all are at the moment.
I’ll start with a scene that was quite easily overlooked: Qyburn and the Mountain. I’m sure that a normal man would have died by the wounds that the Red Viper of Dorne inflicted…but the Mountain is not a normal man. It is revealed here that Oberyn used poison during his fight with Gregor Clegane in episode 8, and this is what is slowly killing him. Qyburn (who was once a maester, but was kicked out for ‘unorthodox’ practices) is the fellow that escorted Jaime and Brienne back to King’s Landing from Harrenhal at the end of season 3. He has been there since, and Cersei has taken quite an interest in him, it seems. Qyburn promises that, through his ‘unorthodox’ practices, he can save Gregor Clegane’s life, but he won’t be the same. As an interesting side note, Qyburn was first introduced in season 3 episode 1, when Robb arrives at Harrenhal after it had been pillaged. Pillaged by whom, you ask? Well, the very person that Qyburn is experimenting on.
Sticking in King’s Landing, Tywin had a very bad day. Firstly, his daughter tells him that his family is built up on incest, and then his youngest son shoots him whilst he is having a poo. Deary me. The most powerful man in the word…killed on the toilet. Here we see the Lannister’s real decline in power. With the patriarchal figurehead eliminated, what will happen to the family now? We already know that the gold mines in Casterly Rock have all but dried up, and the Tyrells are sneaking around, getting their mits into Tommen to manipulate him. Jaime remains in the Kingsguard, and as a result cannot father any children. Indeed, it seems that the Lannister line is all but drying up! Whilst I really enjoyed how Tyrion’s story was played out, I can’t help but be a little upset with some minor variations from the book – it is obvious that Tyrion is a favourite; not just a fan favourite, but Benioff and Weiss’ too. As a result, I think that they are, for lack of a better term, white washing him. In the books, Tyrion is a lot darker. For example (I think I mentioned this before), he once had a singer boiled into stew for threatening to reveal the truth about Shae. In the series, we sometimes see a darker side to him, but not to this extent. Anyway, my point is that Tyrion and Jaime’s departure in the series was on good terms, whereas in the books it is not, which both influences their characters drastically in the next installment. For those interested, this is how it plays out in the books (if not, skip ahead until after the nice picture).
****** SPOILERS KIND OF-ISH BUT NOT REALLY ****
Do you remember the story of Tysha, Tyrion’s first wife? Long story short, Tyrion lost his virginity to her, and then found out that she was a whore, hired by Jaime to help Tyrion become a man. In response, Tywin had his men rape her, and paid her afterwards. Skip forward to the present, and Jaime comes down to the cells to free Tyrion. He reveals the truth about Tysha: she wasn’t a whore; Tywin lied about it to break up up their un-(in his eyes) holy matrimony. Naturally, Tyrion is mega pissed off, and then proceeds to tells Jaime that he did kill Joffrey, and that Cersei has been having sexy time with Lancel (their cousin, in the first and second series), Osmund Kettleblack (a knight from the books) and “Moon-Boy, for all I know” (Moon-Boy is a court fool). The two part ways, peeved at each other – with Jaime questioning his incestuous relationship, which had been perfect up until now, let’s be honest. Anyway so Tyrion encounters Varys, who’s like “by the way, that’s Tywin’s room up there, jus’ sayin’.” Tyrion ventures up, finds Shae in Tywin’s bed as the show portrays (though he seems to be a lot angrier in the books and pretty much murders her in cold blood) before finding Tywin on the privy. The difference in the scene here is that series-Tyrion seems concerned and upset with Shae, whereas book-Tyrion is hung up on Tysha. He tells Tywin he knows the truth, and asks where Tysha is. Tywin replies “where do whores go?” before Tyrion thwangs him with the crossbow. Like Jaime, Tyrion has this line repeating in his head – “where do whores go?” – heavily influencing his character and the decisions he makes. So, I for one am very interested to see how their future stories play out!
Continuing on – so Tyrion finds Shae and kills her out in self-defence, anger, betrayal and sadness. I’m not sure what the weird “I’m sorry” was about, but the scene was very well done. He then finds Joffrey’s old reliable crossbow and hunts down Tywin, putting a big crossbow bolt shaped dent in the Lannister’s power. Varys, who is so awesome, then helps Tyrion escape. Varys is about to return to the castle, but then realises what an awful, silly place it is, and proceeds to boat trip with Tyrion. He doesn’t accompany the Imp in the books, but I’m looking forward to seeing more interactions between the two next season!
Ummm next we have Daenerys. Her exploits in the finale were pretty self-explanatory: Drogon, the largest and most fearsome of her three dragons, went and flamethrowered a young girl. Daenerys wisely finally realises that dragons are actually pretty dangerous, and, full of emotion, chains them up for the time being, which is probably going to end really well. Well, she chains two of them up – Viserion and Rhaegal. Drogon – the most dangerous muthafuzzer – is out hunting and hasn’t been seen for days…
In the North, viewers were treated to some brilliant exchanges between Jon Snow and Mance Rayder, before Stannis shows up and kicks arse. If you recall at the end of season 3, Melisandre tells Stannis that the “true fight is to the north”. So how did Stannis get to the Wall? Last we saw of him, he was in Braavos, which is to the east of Westeros in Essos. From there, Stannis could have sailed north along the Westeros coast and past the Wall, before docking and unloading his troops. But why is he there? Well, to quote George R. R. Martin, Stannis is realising that he shouldn’t become king to save Westeros, but should save Westeros to become king. It is important, however, to note that the Night’s Watch swear they will not align themselves to a specific family or take part in any wars besides their own. This is A Song of Ice and Fire, and it appears that Ice and Fire are indeed now meeting!
Further north, you may be rubbing your eyelids in confusion as to what is going on with Bran’s story. We know that he is trying to find the Three-Eyed Raven (Three-Eyed Crow in the books) from

his dreams, and he knowsthat it is something to do with a heart tree, which, as I mentioned before, were symbols of the Old Gods (Jon burnt Ygritte under one in this episode too). They arrive at the tree that Bran has seen in his dreams, are attacked by undead, and then rescued by a Lost Boy from Peter Pan. This character is called Leaf, and she is one of the Children of the Forest. Some quick background – the Children of the Forest, though childlike in appearance, are not children at all. They’re kind of like Halfling elfy things. The giants called them “little squirrel people”. They lived in Westeros eons ago, before the First Men settled. When the First Men settled, with their bronze weapons and what not, the Children’s weirwoods were all but burnt down, and what little of them remained went into hiding. That’s just a brief history – you can probably find out more online, as it is quite interesting, but beware, for the night is dark and full of spoilers. Leaf leads Bran, Hodor and Merra (but not Jojen as he is now super dead) to the Three-Eyed Raven, who appears to be a man caught in a tree. His depiction in the books is a lot cooler, but I imagine the CGI budget was pretty much spent at this point, what with all of Leaf’s fireballs, so I guess an old man in a tree will have to do. Suddenly, Bran’s story has become interesting again!
Holy Christmas is that it? Oh, no – Arya. Ok, so book-Brienne never meets Arya, and the fight between her and the Hound doesn’t happen – book-Sandor Clegane becomes weakened by a wound he suffered, then Arya leaves him to die – but this was much cooler, and a pretty bad arse fight scene. Arya has obviously become very suspicious of people, which is why her tone towards Brienne changes as soon as “Lannister” is mentioned. Despite that, she still resents the Hound for killing Mycha (the butcher’s boy), no matter how many whacky adventures they have had. Arya is now stone cold, and instead of giving the Hound the sweet, sweet release of death, she leaves him to die slowly and painfully. She arrives at a place known as the Salt Pans (hence all that salt you saw), searching for a vessel. She is lost and alone in the world, but still has one hope: the coin that Jaqen gave her at the end of series 2. “Give this to any man from Braavos and say ‘valar morghulis’”. And off she pops.
So, as it stands –
Bran and co. are beyond the Wall, sheltered from harm with the Three-Eyed Raven.
At the Wall we have Jon and the Night’s Watch, along with Stannis, Davos, Melisandre and Stannis’ men, whilst Tormund and Mance are being held prisoner.
Reek/Theon is at Winterfell, where the Boltons have made their new home.
Sansa (going by the name Alayne) and Littlefinger are in the Eyrie, preparing to depart on a tour of the Vale.
Ayra is boarding a boat to Braavos.
The Hound is left dying on a rock.
Brienne and Podrick are still in the Vale looking for Arya.
In King’s Landing, Tommen sits on the throne, surrounded by the Tyrells, much to Cersei’s dismay. Qyburn is experimenting on the Mountain, Jaime is still a member of the Kingsguard, Tywin is dead, and Tyrion and Varys are also boarding a boat to who-knows-where.
Across the Narrow Sea, Dany has chained up her dragons and realises that ruling ain’t that easy, whilst Jorah is moping out in the wilderness somewhere on horseback.
Oh, and somewhere in the Narrow Sea, poor Gendry is still probably figuring out how to row his boat.
I think that just about covers everyone? Apologies if I have missed anyone out.
If you’re feeling a big Game of Thrones shaped hole in your heart, I really do recommend you to read the books. At times, they are quite difficult, tedious, and a tad boring, but overall the story is fantastic and exciting, and gives you so much more depth than the series can. Start with the first book – A Game of Thrones – even if you have watched the series thus far, or else you will miss out. Plus, then you can join in the hundreds of theory discussions online, and, more importantly, gloat and act smug to non-book readers that you have read them…not that I do that, of course. Thank you for reading my episode follow-ups, and I hope that you found them helpful and enjoyed reading them, as I did writing them.